When you feel you have been doing well, planning it all perfectly, setting benchmarks in your life's milestones, for leading that dream come true life in the future, don't you realize that you have been postponing on so many other little things that life has to offer in the present?
To be or not to be.. The perpetual dilemma..
We come across both these sayings every now and then. One goes about, 'Live in the present, you don't know what the future holds for you'. And the other says, 'To achieve certain things in life you must compromise and let go off some other things.
How does one attain a balance between the two?
How do you prioritise on what is best at a particular point of time.
I believe everyone has their own ways of listening to their heart and mind and go about their lives just right.. Or maybe, if not right, with some regrets on missing out a bunch of things, but still learning to be happy with the remainder that they have.
I have certainly not been good at this equipoise in my life. I mean, I have turned out fine FYI! But now when I look back into my school and college days, I have perhaps been the latter of the two. The overall activities and agendas were always lingering, chained to another milestone, and that spun out. Onlooking the big picture of how I need to live the present to have the future that I want. Still, somehow with my fair share of joys throughout, I am not disappointed in the life that I had, nor do I have any regrets of not living to the fullest back then. As I said, I seem have to turned out just fine..
But living now, gosh! It is so darn difficult. I am undoubtedly a cynical critique when comes to LIFE. It (Life) certainly has it all in one's share, the happy and the sad, the good and the bad; but the timing does the trick! You can never really proceed with the stability that all's good, nor can you really survive being scared about the next moment all the time. There has to to a balance.
Even our human body works by the same dictum. Our organs require an appropriate number and type of cells to function normally. When there is an unchecked growth of certain cells in any area, it leads to what we all know as cancers. When the organs fail to regenerate their cells, we land up into degenerative disorders. And when our own body fails to recognize its cells as self, it starts forming antibodies against them, that is when autoimmune disorders occur. And there seems to be no known trigger for any these events most of the times. What eventually takes over is the belief that it was all supposed to happen. The suffering was doomed.
Even our human body works by the same dictum. Our organs require an appropriate number and type of cells to function normally. When there is an unchecked growth of certain cells in any area, it leads to what we all know as cancers. When the organs fail to regenerate their cells, we land up into degenerative disorders. And when our own body fails to recognize its cells as self, it starts forming antibodies against them, that is when autoimmune disorders occur. And there seems to be no known trigger for any these events most of the times. What eventually takes over is the belief that it was all supposed to happen. The suffering was doomed.
Similar is the chaos brought about in our lives. One day, all might seem good and pleasant. You never know what might come next and tear you apart. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. You accept it without much ado, that it was in the cards. The dynamics are all similar, it is the sequale that has its impacts. There might be medication for some treatable ailments; causing growth of new cells, or killing the harmful germs. But the bug that gets into your head.. The way it forms tangles in you mind's circuitry, that might not just get back to normal.. I want to add 'Ever' at the end of this last sentence, but it might just be such a long time, and I don't know if time really can heal wounds.! Or is it time alone that not everyone has.. Even if you are dragged till the age of 69, who knows if it would be worthwhile enough to live all those moments then which you side-tracked now!? Maybe, you get the time, but not 'your' complete self to live that time fully.
With the clock of life ticking ahead at this pace, I don't have the patience to linger on for better times and days to come.! I am all for Now.. I certainly can't stop dreaming, but I cannot muster the guts to wait for them to come true in the future.. I am finding a hard time trying to attain the acme.. The Balance.! Knowing, wanting, and doing now; yet procrastinating, dreaming, hoping and wishing some more for the times to come..
I haven't really been a huge fan of Karma either. What goes around may not always come back around to the same person. Someone else might have to repent for someone else's karma. (That is what happens with the family members of patients diagnosed with irreparable conditions, it becomes all of them's Karma together!) And that is what makes me cynical. Because the future is so bloody scary, that it has already begotten upon us now, to ruin our present. Now the thread lies in our hands to turn things about. To either live in the present and be happy momentarily, or to work your ass off now, with no time or desire for the present, in view of that speculative life of the future.
To be, in the present, or not to be!
